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June 14, 2023
What’s a good wine? How do I pick a good wine? How do I know if a wine is going to be good?
These questions or some variation of them are the most common from people that are just dipping their toe into bettering their wine drinking experience. It makes sense considering there are over 11 thousand wine producers globally. How the hell do you know which ones are worth your time and money? Where do you even start to narrow it down? Well, there are a few simple and effective ways to steer you in the right direction. This is one of them.
Before I get into it, let's get one thing straight. A good wine is subjective in many ways, so if you enjoy a certain bottle consistently right now, it's a good wine to you and you should continue to enjoy it. With that said, there are some key indicators that will help you identify what wines are objectively not good. When I say not good, I’m strictly talking about quality and not whether or not you will like the taste or smell. Over time, as you continue to explore new wines and push your palette, I promise you the wine you like now will not be the wine you enjoy as much down the road, and that is a really good thing. Part of the joy of wine is the exploration and surprise in every bottle. Embracing this is key to understanding wine, getting better at selecting a quality wine and getting better at select wines you’ll enjoy.
Let’s get into what exactly a bad wine is. Keep in mind, I’m talking objectively now. My statement above holds true. A good wine is a wine you like to drink. This is different. This is about quality and the process put into making wine. Let me use an analogy of Starbucks and McDonald’s. Visit any Starbucks or McDonald’s in the world and order an oat milk Cappuccino or a Big Mac and they will absolutely taste exactly the same no matter how remote the location on planet Earth. These products are designed to be that way and consumers expect them to be consistent. This is how consumer loyalty is built and what helps lead to these company’s massive profits. The wine you see on the shelf at a grocery store in California and then again on a shelf at a grocery store in New Hampshire while visiting your in-laws for their 50th wedding anniversary is also constructed to be exactly the same. Wines like Josh, Barefoot, Mondavi, Gallo, 19 Crimes - the labels that color every grocery store wine section - are made on such a large scale that in order to keep the consistency they are after they enlist all sorts of tricks to ignore what the harvest yielded that year and get the consumer that same tasting juice they like to spend their money on. In short, like McDonald’s and Starbucks and some of your favorite items sealed in bags and boxes in the frozen food section, these wines are processed. You will not see a list of ingredients as long as a Hot Pocket on the back label, but a wine produced with such flavor and profile consistency is manipulated. It is this manipulation that, at least in the world of wine professionals and true enthusiasts, makes them objectively not good quality and more often than not good tasting once you’ve broadened your palate. Rather than looking at winemaking as part artistry and part science, these huge wine conglomerates are all science, creating wine in a lab much in the same way PepsiCo creates a new flavor of Dorito.
As Ben Panko writes in his article “The Science Behind Your Cheap Wine” for Smithsonian Magazine, “winemakers can draw on a list of more than 60 government-approved additives that can be used to tweak everything from color to acidity to even thickness.” They are ignoring the natural state of the grapes that were harvested that year and Frankensteining the fuck out of the the wine that ends up in the bottle.
It’s true, many smaller wineries also use certain scientific techniques to adjust for possible shortcomings of the grapes they have to work with for their current vintage. I don’t want to make it seem like only truly “natural” wine is quality. That’s ridiculous. I barely tolerate what is considered “Natty” wine. What I am saying is that there is an acceptable level of wine manipulation historically across old and new world wines and many of the greatest wines to ever be produced use some enhancing practices to create their coveted juice. But, when nearly every aspect of what the Earth has provided during harvest becomes insignificant to the desired outcome, you’re not making wine, you’re making a Java Chip Frappuccino.
If you’ve been buying most of your wine at the grocery store and looking to drink better wine my advice always starts with this. Walk the hell out of the grocery store and get yourself over to your local wine shop. Not only are you supporting small businesses, you’re undoubtedly going to have access to much higher quality wines. You’ll still encounter some big name producers and might even see some of the same grocery store wines, but if you avoid those and take a chance on something unfamiliar there is a great chance you’re trying something higher quality. If you’re risk averse and want more of a guarantee, just ask someone working there. So much of what I learned about wine over the years was from ignoring that intimidated voice in my brain and asking lots and lots of questions. No one in the wine world is going to ridicule you for wanting to drink better wine.